Cassette Recorder Audio Processor - No.2

The Cassette Recorder Audio Processor Rack Extension is back and worser than before! This time we bring you the more Pro Version with L0-f1 Dolphonics™ Processing! We listened to everyone who loved the classic tape sound of the original C.R.A.P.R.E., and added more controls for even worser tones. It’s guaranteed to make things sound warm and fuzzy and buzzy and hummy and munchy. It’s like the Original Crapre, but with more Number Two!

CRAPRE Number Two is NOT an Upgrade from previous versions. Original CRAPRE users rest assured that the kittens and unicorn will always be in your rack!

CRAPRE Cassette Tape Mutilation technology is the result of decades of research by the brainy guys of Sonic Charge who are secretly hoarders of cassette recording devices. Every weekend, they scour the landfills of Europe, looking for discarded decks. They then pop in mix tapes, made for girlfriends in the 80s, and analyze the beauty and wonder of all that is cassette tape!

Cassette Recorder Audio Processor No.2 Controls

• Because this is the more Pro Version, we contracted the finest Scandinavian jewelers to craft the 3.38 karat jewel ‘ncrusty gold knob that controls the Output level! To keep the vintage sound, we recycled used potentiometers from old car cassette decks that scratch and hiss when turned.

• We also upped the gold on the Wetter knob control. It’s like a “Rose-ish” pink and gold. You can turn it and it will make things dry, but Wetter is Better!

• The pink and gold Pheedback knob is the heart of the new Dolphonics™ technology. Twist it a little and you will hear the pleasing sound of sea creatures in the tropics. Turn it all the way for the maximum Dolphonic overload. While some technology maxes at the “10″ setting, Pheedback only goes to 9… THOUSAND!

• Dolphy NR is nothing special. It just filters noise and makes you think you’re listening to less crap while filtering out crap that you don’t think you want to listen to. Flip it off for maximum cassette glory, or flip it on to minimize tape hiss (but why would you want to do that?)

• Convolution Reverbs are nice and all that, but SPRING REVERB is the sh\crap! We kept the super analoggy spring reverbivation system in Crapre Number Two. Flip the switch for some springy dingy ding action!

• Bias controls this weird thing with the tape saturation magnetic flux capacitance thingy that makes things sound more distorted and crappy. Keep it at zero for plain dull crap, or turn the control up or down for more even more crappiness!

• The Wobble knob is a new magic feature of C#2! You set the tape for steady playback or increase the probability that your tape will get crunched!

• The Input knob controls the hyper input drive gainer circuit stuff. It’s tape melting technology that will overdrive signals into the red for that classic CRAPRE tone! We were pretty much bankrupt after spending all that cash on gold knobs, so we resorted to DIY wood knob heads for the Input. Each knob is a personalized work of art, individually hand crafted with a wax finish - a true labor of love that perfectly complements the beautiful interface.

• Tape Quality selector switches between Bad Quality Tape, Bader Quality Tape which is worser than Bad Quality, and our patented Super CRAP setting, with the classic CRAPRE sound of a special chromium dioxide and high fructose unicornium tape formulation.

• Voltage selector allows you to set a lovely ground hum noise caused by 40-year-old leaky capacitors oozing cap-juice all over the power stuff inside. Choose from an old school 220 Volt 50 Hz mains voltage, 110 Volt 60Hz electricle outlet, or the hum-free DeeSea Battery. Please do not attempt to repair this yourself.